NC-17

NYX____________________________

My blood felt hot and thick in my veins, my heart working hard to channel it through my body.  My emotions felt tangible, something I could shape and mold at will.  I was folding cleanly under some unfathomable concept, one that managed to reach past all the hurdles that guarded that central place within me.

…But it was a conscious choice, to fold.

I was suspended in my desire, feeling the burn of a hundred different wants all competing with each other over who would be realized first.  I’d shown so much restraint before…but then again, restraint came easy for me.  I was used to telling myself that I just couldn’t have what I wanted—because I didn’t deserve it, because it’d cause too much trouble, because it wouldn’t work out.

And to say there weren’t reasons to argue against my current snogging partner was laughable.  There were dozens of reasons I could tell myself that said getting involved with Elmiryn, in any capacity, was a foolhardy idea.

Yet picked apart and far apart, I saw the sweet spaces that existed between us, and I basked in this.

Maybe I was looking at it from a bit too morbid a perspective.  Coming near to death so much in such a short period of time made prudence feel cheap and stupid.  What about now?  What about that precious present, where everything feels at its greatest?

Then something occurred to me as I gasped into Elmiryn’s mouth, her soft sweet lips brushing over mine.

How much of me…was here?

In that single hot second, when Elmiryn’s hips ground into mine, sending out a firework of sensations that tickled down my thighs and up my chest; when her groan tickled a response from my own throat, the sounds mixing together in a pulse of breaths; when the tension and heat knotted itself in the pit of my stomach as her fingers raked down my hip and thigh, threatening to rip my stockings and self-control apart–

How much of me was in the moment?

I was a person divided, individual pieces belonging to a freak show of epic proportions.  There lay my eyes, whose vision was short and whose gaze coveted backward things.  There lay my lips, who moved to deny everything I wanted when it was within reach of me.  There lay my heart, who bled out dreams onto the flagstones…

But my soul?  Where was that ethereal part of me that made me who I was?

There!

Divided and cut, who was Nyx but just a piece of something too afraid to be whole?  Where was the rest of me?  Did that missing piece have my inhibitions too?  Was that why all I could think of were wants, with little thought as to what it would result in?

…And was it so bad, to celebrate that empty space?

My Twin was still missing, but I felt none of her complaints, none of her qualms, none of her demands in my head or my heart.  Yet the void was just that—a void, and a cold one that gave me goosebumps every time I dwelled upon it.  I wanted to smother it with this heat.  I wanted to forget that I ever had a Twin.  I wanted to pretend that I was all there, and that every wisp of my soul wanted this—which was technically true.

Elmiryn’s kisses were deep and sensuous. They took my breath away, leaving me dizzy and still hungering for more.  I felt brazen.  Intoxicated.  My tongue sought hers, and she met it, leading in a swirling dance that incited me to tighten my grip around her.  She tasted divine.

This close, the woman’s scent filled me.  The forest scents were gone from her, leaving only a curious combination of dust, a mellow fruity perfume, and a whiff of alcohol.  It was different from what I was accustomed to sensing from her—the trees, the cleaning oil, the leather—but like a subtle note, there was that undeniable scent of wildness, that heady musk that spoke of impetuous desire and a lust for life.

Elmiryn started to finger the jeweled buttons of my doublet, and she pulled back with a smack of the lips to gaze at me questioningly.  We seem to hang there, lost in the intensity of the moment, both panting in unison as we gazed at each other for the answer.  My fingers flexed against the fur blanket, my palms sweaty.  I shifted up a little higher on the bed, half-raised on my elbows as my nose brushed hers.  Elmiryn’s breath was warm against my swollen lips.

I had talked about consequences.

…Was this one I could deal with?

Then I thought…

…Would I be alive after tonight’s hunt to have a chance to deal with it?

I gave a slight jerk of a nod.

Elmiryn smiled and started to undo my doublet, and I, her vest.  She beat me to it, and I tried not to think of how practiced she may have been at removing clothing quickly.  With impatient hands, the warrior pulled my doublet open, and I gasped at the cold air that graced my sweaty skin.  She went to kiss my neck as her hands fought with my chest wraps.  Meanwhile I’d just managed to finish undoing her vest and started work on her shirt.  Our actions were clumsy—desperate almost.  But the struggle only seemed to encourage us.

For a brief moment, my ability to think returned to me in a flurry of fears–

This is crazy.  There’s Lycan’s everywhere.  This is a dead man’s home.  Hakeem will be calling on us soon.

And…

What if this means nothing?  What if I’m just another conquest?

Then those thoughts fell away, and all I could think was:

Sweet Aelurus, I want Elmiryn so badly.

My heart beat loudly in my ears as the last of my wraps were pulled away.  Elmiryn was raking her teeth down my neck, sucking and nipping me.  I hadn’t noticed when she’d started doing this, but her hips kept rocking up rhythmically into my own, touching that place between my legs so that my breath caught in my throat.  My sex was pulsing, my body reacting in a way I hadn’t known before.  To feel the warrior’s sinuous body moving with accordance to mine, to feel the power of her muscles through the fabric, to feel her heat mingling with my own–

Finally, I managed to speak.

“Elle,”  I gasped, and my hands clutched at her hips.  She didn’t stop right away, so I tried again, a whine coming into my voice.  “Elle–”

Elmiryn froze, her lips still against my neck.  It was startling how suddenly she could wrestle her body into such control.  She’d seemed completely lost in the passion.  I felt a thrill go through me to think I could cause such behavior.

She sat up, her shirt open, her skin glistening from the low light that managed to creep in through the spaces of the entrance curtain.  The curves of her body were highlighted, beaded sweat like little jewels on her sun-kissed skin.  My mouth watered and I swallowed, propping myself up onto my elbows to stare up at her.

…Dear gods…what was I supposed to do with such a wonderful creature?

The warrior was just as beautiful as she was when I’d first dressed her back in Fiamma—not that it was all that long ago, but in some ways that time in the wash room had felt like a dream.  I wondered, if I were to reach out, would this beautiful image smear?  Would the colors weep and run, the sight to be robbed from me forever?

…How much of me was here?

…How much of this moment was real?

The questions didn’t frighten me, as they normally would have.  After all…

If everything were somehow a fantasy, then it was a good thing I was a dreamwalker.

ELMIRYN________________________

Hungry and harsh, she was undoing things she knew could never be regained—but there she was, hands fumbling with buttons and wraps—quick and impatient to claim that precious prize that said she was the first and the only.

The first.

The only.

She didn’t need to ask to know this was true.

Hot blood. Hot. Burning, practically. Elmiryn buried her face into Nyx’s neck, her lips kissing that place where she knew the Meaning came rising from–but then she was biting too, because gods, the taste of the girl’s sweat was quite an accelerant to her flames–

“Elle–Elle–”

Stop…

The woman froze, her lips quivering against the Ailuran’s skin. Her cerulean eyes snapped open wide and she raised herself, once more straddling the girl at the hips.  She felt her her sex give a throb. Nyx lay beneath her, straw in her hair, her nose and cheeks pink as she panted quickly.  The warm pools of her tawny eyes made the warrior swallow.  It was hard to tear her eyes away from that captivating gaze, but there was so much more to take in, and Elmiryn wanted to treasure everything.

Unlike some of the shy partners the redhead had known in the past, Nyx did not move to cover herself. Her chest was humble in size, but the shape of her breasts was what made the warrior stifle down an appreciative purr. They appeared full and soft, with light burgundy nipples that had turned hard. The girl’s ribs lightly showed with every inhale she took, and all along her snow white skin, there were goosebumps appearing. Finally, the youth gave a violent shiver and moved to warm herself.

“Gods!” She hissed, writhing. Elmiryn bit her lip and squeezed the girl still with her thighs.

“I’m surprised,” the woman said.  “I’d have taken ya t’be more bashful. You were so…private, before.”

The girl shrugged, her teeth chattering a little.  It wasn’t that cold, was it? “Different contexts.  It isn’t as if I haven’t been naked in front of other people before.”

“But not like this?”

The girl pouted as if the question bothered her, then slowly shook her head. Her pout deepened as she locked eyes with the warrior. “Why’d you have to pull back so far? I’m freezing!”

Elmiryn grinned and pulled in close. “Better?” she murmured.

Nyx’s tawny eyes fluttered and the woman could hear her swallow. “Yes…that’s…yes that’s better.”

And to think, they were just meaning to fall asleep!  The drowsiness had left the woman, even if her words still cut and mashed and drawled here and there.  She was too keyed up to even contemplate resting her head.

The redhead brushed back a lock of the girl’s hair.  “Yer so beautiful, Nyx. Did I ever tell you?”

“Not in those exact words, no.” The girl turned her face to the side. Elmiryn gently turned her head forward again at the chin.  She stroked Nyx’s jaw with a light touch.

“Well, I’m tellin’ you now. I’ll tell you a thousand times till you believe me. I’ll say it in my sleep, and I’ll whisper it in yer ear when I hold you. Yer beautiful.”

“Elmiryn, come on.” The girl sounded exasperated, but Elmiryn knew the truth in her voice. She was just embarrassed. Nyx’s brow wrinkled and her eyes squinted a fraction as the warrior chuckled over her.

“You say this to everyone you’ve ever been with, I bet you,” The Ailuran said with lightly puckered lips. “I bet you tell them so many other things, their heads spin. You just won’t with me because I’ll see right through it.”

Elmiryn raised an eyebrow.  “Oh? Is zat’so?”

“Yes.” Elmiryn’s ear tweaked to the sound of jealousy. Nyx didn’t like thinking of the woman’s past exploits. She doubted many would, given the girl’s current position.

“And how many stars do you think I promised them, hmm?” The woman smirked as the girl blushed a deeper crimson.  She leaned in for a kiss.  Their chests pressed intimately, but the fabric of the warrior’s chest wraps felt in the way.  Impatiently, she growled and pulled at these, and Nyx helped her with eager hands.  When the cloth hung loose in long trails about them, they both stopped.

Nyx let out a low groan, a look of pure desire passing her face as she reached up with both hands and touched the woman, kneading gently.  The warrior closed her eyes at the touch, one hand going over the girl’s to guide her into a squeeze.  Her thighs pressed tight around her partner, her sex feeling slick and warm.  The redhead moved in for a kiss, and their lips met with a hungry passion that felt raw and uninhibited.  Nyx’s hands raked along the woman’s back as their breasts brushed together, the cool air chilling the sweat that mingled on their flushed skin.

Elmiryn’s arm weaved up from beneath the girl’s arm, along her back, to snake into her hair. The other hand rest at the girl’s hip, where it slid along the girl‘s buttock and up the back of her thigh.

…But Elmiryn could feel Nyx shivering still. She pulled away a moment to ask into Nyx’s open mouth, “Are you still cold?”

“Yes,” the girl said a little quickly. Then… “No.” She swallowed. “No, I’m…”

Ah. Accustomed to nudity, perhaps, but not for such carnal activities. Elmiryn smiled and leaned down to kiss the girl’s cheek, then whispered in her ear. “I’m going to try something…are you ready?”

Nyx nodded mutely.

Elmiryn started to pull back, and the girl protested, grabbing her around the chest. The warrior laughed, and shook her head.

“Relax. Look.” She raised a finger. “I’m gonna plant a seed…right…here,” and the woman placed her finger against Nyx’s left breast, where she could feel her heartbeat. “The seed is gonna grow…and spread…all throughout you.”

Elmiryn took her hand, and with her fingers gliding along the girl’s skin, she trailed them down her chest, over her left breast, over her stomach, then down to her hip. She trailed her hand back up the girl’s side with the back of her fingers where she brushed the inside of the girl’s left arm. Then Elmiryn pulled Nyx’s arm to her and kissed her bicep.

She turned her cool gaze onto the girl’s face.  “It’ll take root just under the skin, spanning your whole body. Most importantly, though, it’ll find root…” she tapped the girl’s forehead.  “Here.” Next she moved to place a hand at the pit of the Ailuran’s abdomen. “And here.”

She leaned down and kissed the side of the girl’s right breast, where whispered against the damp skin, “You can feel it, can’t you?”

Nyx’s breath was a harsh whisper. “Yes.”

“It’ll possess you.” Elmiryn trailed her tongue along Nyx’s flesh to her nipple where she flicked the tender flesh and the girl took a sharp intake of breath.

“Like your love has possessed me…” the woman whispered, before taking the girl’s breast into her mouth. Nyx gasped and squirmed before a low moan slipped her lips and she was arching her chest into the woman’s mouth. The redhead clutched at her, sliding her thigh between the girl’s so that it pressed up against her core, and she felt the girl squeeze and grind up, stirring Elmiryn in kind. She let out an appreciative sound and gently skimmed her teeth over the soft nipple, teasing the peaked flesh with another flick of the tongue as her other hand came round to knead the girl’s other breast.

After a moment of this, the girl tried to speak.

“E-Elmiryn,” Nyx managed to say. “You’re…gods, I don’t think I—I can…last like that!”

Ah.

Elmiryn came up, chuckling, her smile fully in place. “My! But you do get excited!”

“Don’t tease,” the girl pleaded. She was completely out of breath and her face was flushed pink.

“Awww…”

“Elle, please!”

The woman laughed, reaching back for her hair tie.  “I’m not even doin‘ anything!”

“You were thinking it!  And I swear by the heavens, Elmiryn I will–”  Elmiryn pulled out her ponytail, letting her hair slip forward and tickle the girl’s skin.  The hair had still been damp where it was tied, but the rest of the locks were mostly dry now.  Nyx’s voice cut off with a sigh and she fluttered her eyes at the woman.  The warrior smirked.  She’d always felt the girl staring whenever she brushed her hair.

“You’ll what, Nyx?” Elmiryn purred.  She pecked the girl’s lips and tilted her head to the side.  “You’ll bite me?”

Nyx’s voice was just a breath.  “It crossed my mind…”

Elmiryn grinned and pulled her hair and collar back to reveal the hicky on her neck.  “You already did that, remember?”

The girl’s eyes twinkled and a sudden smile spread her lips.  In a tone of voice that sounded eerily familiar, the girl said haughtily, “Well! I didn’t know I was being judged on creativity!”

The woman narrowed her eyes.  “Yer makin’ fun o’ me, aren’t ya?”

Nyx’s poorly concealed laugh was all the answer she needed.

The warrior’s lips gained a wicked curve as she took a hand and forced it down the back of the girl’s pants.  The Ailuran squealed, her eyes popping as she started to sit up.  Elmiryn could feel the girl’s butt, smooth and warm, and with a short giggle, she pinched the skin.

Nyx bucked, and with the warrior’s position compromised, she was able to knock the woman off in a quick reversal.  Now she was the one straddling the warrior.

The girl grinned victoriously over her.  “Hah!”

But Elmiryn just smiled wider.  “Don’t be so quick to call victory!”  Taking her fingers, the warrior pulled at the back of the girl’s shorts, revealing her butt in full.  She took this moment to squeeze both cheeks.

“How nice!” the redhead giggled.

Nyx let out a squeak and straightened onto her knees, but this just made it easier for the woman to pull her shorts down even further.

With a well-placed shove, Elmiryn had Nyx on her back once more, and pulled her shorts, stockings, and shoes off in one long miraculous pull.  Now the girl was mostly bare, save for the open doublet she still kept on her back.  She stared, agape, down at herself, then at the woman, entirely surprised at the ease with which she was undressed.  The warrior allowed herself a moment to take in this new sight, her gaze hungrily trailing up the girl’s slim graceful legs, to the dark curls of her sex, to the perfection of her breasts.  Her flushed skin looked so sweet…

Tossing the hated clothing away, Elmiryn smirked.  “Gotcha!”

Their legs were open like V’s, with Nyx’s legs over Elmiryn’s.  The woman moved fast, taking up one of the girl’s legs at the back of the knee and folding it up as she repositioned herself on top.  Nyx’s leg was now over Elmiryn’s shoulder, and the woman started to lean down when the look on Nyx’s face stopped her.  The girl was wide eyed, with brows pressed up and together to wrinkle her forehead.

“Sorry, was I goin’ a lil’ too fast?” the woman asked quietly.  She sat back a little, both hands on the Ailuran’s leg in preparation to slide it off her shoulder.

Even so, she couldn’t help but caress the girl a little.  Her skin felt so nice.  Like rose petals.

Nyx pressed her lips together, then turned her head, and Elmiryn saw with relief that the girl was trying to hide a smile.

When the Ailuran returned her gaze to the woman’s, she said, “I’m okay.”

“Okay, as in, okay?  Or okay as in, not okay?”

The girl giggled, her smile finally appearing in full.  Elmiryn’s heart fluttered a little at the sight, and she felt another wave of warmth go all through her.

Nyx reached up and touched the woman’s cheek with light fingers.  “I’m okay…” she breathed.  She laid a hand over heart.  “You planted a seed, remember?”

The redhead let out a giggle.  “I did, didn’t I?”

“Yes.  You did.”

“Well, here,” the woman leaned down, shifting around the girl’s leg to lay a quick kiss on her lips.  “I’ll just ask you what I’d like ta try and you jes’ lemme know if you don’t want to…’kay?  I don’t wanna startle you.”

The girl took a breath and nodded her head.

Elmiryn turned and kissed the Ailuran’s knee, adjusting her leg so that it was more securely over her shoulder.  Her hand made a light trail down the inside of the girl’s thigh, and the youth shivered underneath her.  The warrior fastened her gaze on to Nyx’s and said in a low voice, “Nyx…I wanna taste you.  Down there.  Is that okay?”

The girl’s cheeks flared and she swallowed audibly.  “I’m…not…” she swallowed again and took a breath.  “I mean…I–I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

The warrior let loose a wolfish grin.  “I’m pretty sure I’ll love it.”

Nyx let out a harsh exhale, her eyes squeezing closed as she laid her head back to think.

Elmiryn was just about to suggest something else when the girl raised her head and said huskily, “Then do it.”

The need in the girl’s voice brought such a surge of desire that the warrior could hardly respond save to slide down along the bed, laying a wet trail with her tongue along the girl’s thigh.  When Elmiryn’s head was near the girl’s waist, she shifted Nyx’s other leg over her shoulder and brushed her hair back.  With one last look up at her companion’s anxious face, the woman turned her attention to the girl’s dark sex.

The curls were tight but fair, some of the locks clearly wet from Nyx’s arousal.  With fingers trembling from excitement (when had that last been the case?) the woman gently stroked the spot, her eyes turning hooded and her nose flaring at the heady scent of sex.  With her arm snaking around Nyx’s hip and over the girl’s lower abdomen, Elmiryn gently began to massage the area where she knew the clitoris to be.

Her eyes flickered up to see Nyx’s head rock back, her chest rising as she took in a breath.  The soft mounds of her breasts seemed to invite touch, and the woman was only too happy to oblige, her other hand just managing to reach around from under the girl’s leg to take a gentle hold.  Elmiryn loved how sweet and honest Nyx’s lust was.  The girl felt soft and precious in her care.  The desire to claim this sprang forth like a beast from the shadows.  The redhead wanted to be the only one the girl could think of,  the only one she would want, the only one she would ever turn to in need…

Elmiryn pulled back her hand from Nyx’s breast, tucking it underneath her so that she could take her fingers and spread the lips of the girl’s sex, affording her that beautiful sight of pink wet flesh.  Feeling as though a threshold was being crossed, the woman leaned slowly in for a taste of the girl’s essence.  She was…

Warm.

Salty.

Wonderful.

NYX____________________________

Madness was finding me in the throes of heat, my body aching for something that felt beyond understanding.  Did I want to be touched?  But I was already being touched, and so lovingly so!  Did I want this to end?  The thought couldn’t have met with more resistance.  Was it just a desire for release?  Well that was certainly there too, but this other feeling was bigger than that.  Stronger.

As Elmiryn’s tongue sent my mind into a dizzying spiral, I had to clamp a hand on my mouth to contain my moans.  Oddly enough, a dull burn had started along the lines of my Mark, but in a strange way, it lent to the intense pleasure that I was feeling.  The pleasure was buoyed by the pain.

Without thinking, I tried to press myself further into the woman’s touch, and she grabbed my hips with her strong arms, forcing me still, her tongue thrusting into me.

It was really hard trying not to cry out at that point.

She returned her attention to my clitoris, her tongue moving fast in a practiced swirl.  Elmiryn had clearly mastered her technique.  My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and my back arched as I clutched at the woman’s hair and the blankets we lay on.  Her long, cool locks brushed against my thighs and it felt heavenly.

Then the woman paused to ask me in a heady voice, “Nyx…I wanna finger you.  Can I?”

It drove me mad that she bothered to stop at all, but I swallowed through a thick throat and managed to say hoarsely, “Yes!”

The warrior shifted between my legs, and I just managed to raise my head when I felt something slip inside me.  Her finger was slim and tentative, and I could feel its touch gently massaging the walls inside.  I shuddered, my sex aching as I arched my hips into her touch.

Elmiryn paused once more to kiss the inside of my thigh and ask, “Is one fine?”

I recalled all the times I’d ever touched myself, surprised that those sad moments of solitude turned out to have some sort of use.  I gasped out, “Two…try two!”

The woman quirked an eyebrow at me, a surprised smile on her face, but she obliged, slipping in another finger.  Elmiryn returned to using her tongue, but it was in a playful way, like she knew that I was on the brink and she just wanted to play with me.  I whimpered and sat up, hands balling at my sides.  Then the warrior took pity on me and ceased her teasing.  Without word or warning, she sucked my hard clitoris, her head moving in a rhythm.  All the while, Elmiryn’s fingers never stopped, and I had to resist bucking my hips.

My sex was throbbing with pleasure, all of my body responding to the sensations that kept building on me, like a weight that squeezed out all else.  My head lolled back and my eyes fell closed, hair clinging to my skin as I all but forgot about the chill in the air.  All that was in me now was fire, and I wanted it to burn me, from the inside out.

Elmiryn’s touch made me aware of just how wet I was, the way her fingers worked in and out, caressing me, coaxing out my desire until—

I inhaled sharply, my entire body going rigid as a jolt of pleasure hit my brain like a hammer.  A choked cry escaped my lips, and I bit on my hand, trying to stifle the noises that came rushing up my throat.  This was followed by a huge wave of warmth and tingles.  Then my entire body shuddered as the knot in the pit of my stomach released itself in a rush of pleasure.  With a sigh, I settled back onto the blankets.  Distantly, I was aware of Elmiryn making a sound too, but I assumed it to be a sound of encouragement.  I felt faint, but thoroughly satisfied.  I could feel Elmiryn’s head resting against my thigh.  She’d continued her ministrations up until the end and was now still, having taken her fingers out of me.

After a moment, I started to feel embarrassed, thinking I had climaxed too early, but when I raised myself onto my elbows to apologize, I saw the warrior still hadn’t moved.

Nervously, I touched her head.

She wasn’t mad at me, was she…?

Then I saw Elmiryn’s body shake and heard a muffled sound, and quickly recognized it as her laughing.  My cheeks colored and I brushed my fingers through the woman’s hair.

“Elle, what is it?” I was almost certain she was laughing at me, and could feel my wickedness stirring.  If she hadn’t had done that thing with her mouth then–!

But the woman raised her face, and I saw that she had rosy cheeks.

“I came,” she said with a giggle.

I blinked at her. “You…what?”

“I came!”

“But how?  I didn’t even touch you!”

The woman raised herself onto all fours, a dreamy look on her face.  “It was yer voice.”

My eyes went wide.  “You mean…”

“Yeah.  When ya cried out, it was like…sendin’ everything you were feeling ta me.  Sooo…I came!”

I pouted.  What a ridiculous way for my vermagus ability to interfere!  “That…That isn’t fair!”

The warrior laughed as she rolled onto her back. “How isn’t that fair?”

“Because I wanted to–” but I couldn’t bring myself to finish, and looked down demurely.

“Kitten…hey kitten, c’mere.” Elmiryn brushed my arm, her cerulean eyes half-closed as she gazed at me.  I let out a slow exhale, appreciating the sight of her beautiful breasts and her fiery hair fanning out over the dark fur blankets.

…I wanted her all over again.

With bitten lip I scooted closer, and the woman shifted her arm so that I could nestle against her side with my head on her shoulder.  She kissed me on the forehead, then hugged me with one arm.  My hand traced her round breasts, admiring the bloom of her pink nipples and the way the soft light highlighted their shape.

“Nyx, I wan’ ya to know…That ya don’ need t’feel like ya have ta do anythin’ for me…” her words were mumbled and low, her voice just a breath that barely managed to get past her lips.  “I like makin’ ya feel good, so don’ worry too much ’bout the how or the why of it…jes do what ya’d like…”

After her voice trailed away, she lay still and said nothing for a long time, and then I realized she had fallen asleep.  My eyes peered up at her through my bangs, and they drank in the sight of Elmiryn in repose.  I always feared that she left me in those moments.  In the past it had felt as though she’d crossed some frightening threshold into another world, one where I could not follow.

Yet the woman was here with me, as I was there with her, and it felt real.  Very real.

I shifted as gently as I could to kiss the woman’s jaw, then turned to grab the edge of the blanket and pull it over us.  She stirred, but stayed asleep.

As I settled back against the woman, I tried to sort out the great waft of affection that now circulated throughout me.  I felt safe and warm.  Contentment hummed in my body.  All I wanted was to know Elmiryn, to feel her, to care for her.  I wished things could always be like this.  It made me ache, as if having the woman lying here with me wasn’t enough.  I wanted forever.

And through my head echoed the very words I had denied her.  Denied, because I felt like there had to be one thing I could keep in case this didn’t work out.

…I love you.

I frowned and trailed my fingers down the valley of Elmiryn’s breasts, then down her smooth abs before I draped my arm across chest and sighed.  When I closed my eyes, I found that sleep wasn’t all that far away for me either.

As I drifted off, a single thought rose to the surface.

I had chosen my path.

…But could my heart survive it?